New Year, New Me

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for mine and Andrew's birthday wishes and the parties that our families threw for us.  We had a good time.  I am back at work for only a couple hours today and it seems really strange.  I think it will be good when I go back to a full work week next week.  I have not worked a full week since the second week of November.  I have decided that this year will be the year that I improve on myself.  I am going to make things better for both me and Andrew. 
One of the things that I made a goal to do was form friendships with people who will care about me in return.  I am a very good friend as long as I feel I am needed and WANTED.  I sent an email to two of my friends who I felt I had lost a long time ago.  I received one respone.  She said that she didn't want me to just write off our friendship and we needed to try and build a new relationship.  I felt reassured that I was important to her.  She already knows how important our friendship is to me.  There are issues with my other friend that can be addressed when she is ready to talk to me, but until then, there isn't anything I can do about it.  The only recognition I received to my email was a post on facebook that stated that in friendships she came first.  I understand this.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I always put my friends first.  I always help when needed and I am there to defend them when necessary.  It felt like when I needed them, I was alone.  It was hard for me to move out here.  I was seperated from my family. It felt like it took forever to get to work and I was only working to pay for gas in my car.  It was hard.  I felt lonely even though I had moved closer to one of my best friends. When I tried talking to Shellie about it, I was told not to put her in the middle and that I had a problem overreacting about things.  (Something I already knew about myself. I know I am dramatic.)  I didn't want someone to remind me of my faults.  I needed someone to talk to.  I needed a friend.  Someone who I always could count on.  I didn't have that.  She told me not to say anything to her anymore. So, I stopped talking to her.  I didn't tell her when I found my new job.  She came to work late on the day that I put my notice in.  I didn't have time to tell her in person.  What was I supposed to do?  Anyways....it took losing my friends to realize how much I needed Andrew.  Then, his buddy moved in with us.  I was happy to help him out.  I enjoyed his company and the fact that he was ok with Izzy, but I felt alone again.  Mainly because they would play video games and I would just go upstairs and be alone.  It was hard.  I was grateful that Danny was there though, because I think Andrew really needed a friend around. 
So, I am happy to say that this year I am going to do things that I haven't done before.  Things to make Andrew and I happy again.  We have both been so sad.  It has been a rough year, but this year will be better.  I am going to make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and repair damage to those I have hurt.