Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Changes...confusing
I have been pretty down lately. Even the most exciting news hasn't been able to cheer me up. I am lost in a frustrating cycle of debt. I have never been very good with my money, but I have always managed to pay my bills. I am now faced with not being able to do this. Andrew and I knew that we would struggle with me starting my new job and taking a pay cut, but were grateful that he has finally started working again. His schedule is not entirely what he was promised, but we are working it out. We have still been able to spend quite a bit of time together. That being said, I cannot pay my car payment, house payment, or home owner's association fees. I have tried to work things out to no avail. Andrew and I have come to the conclusion that we just have to let whatever is going to happen, happen. With both of us in walking distance of work, the only problem that arrises is how I will get to my doctor appointments. Yes, that's right. The Lord has decided that NOW is the time for me to be pregnant. I couldn't believe it. I don't understand how in a time of financial crisis this can happen. I know that the Lord tells us not to wait to have children until we are financially ready, because that will never happen, but we are REALLY not ready. How can we provide for a child if we do not have a roof over our heads? So, on top of all of that, we have to try and get me through a pregnancy, not lose our house or car, and get caught up on all the bills. I am tired of being tested. LOL. Who isn't? But I would really like for something to go our way for a change.
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The baby is the blessing amid the trials. It is God's way of reminding you that even when times get tough, their are still parts of life that are positively blissful. Jarom and I are living proof that you don't have to be financially ready to have a baby. (Heck, we're still not ready and we've got 5!) If you are willing to take upon you the sacred calling of parenthood and put your heart and soul into that work (which I know you will do) then God WILL ALWAYS provide a way to make it possible. Don't sit back and try to think about how he could possibly make that happen. Just let it happen. There are so many options you could never even dream of! In our case, having someone crash into the back of our car changed our lives forever! Would we have thought to ask for that? NO. Do your part the best that you can and He will take care of the rest, guaranteed!
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