Again

Hello all.  I just thought that I would let everyone know that Andrew and I have miscarried again.  I started showing symptoms a couple days ago, but didn't tell anyone, including Andrew.  I didn't want to believe it was true.  I started bleeding this morning and had an ultrasound done here at the clinic.  They found a sac, a baby, but no heartbeat.  I am optimistic that my body will take care of things the way they have in the past.  My Obstetric background allows me a little more freedom in not being dependant on the doctors to aid in this process.  I know when I need to go to the hospital and when to have some help in completing the process.  I have spoken to my midwife in Salt Lake who also feels that I won't need assitance.  It is just a matter of waiting now.  I have been told to rest and stay off my feet as much as possible for the next week.  I am fine to work and do stuff around the house.  I think the main thing I am worried about is the psychological tole this will take on me.  I cannot help but think that I have done something in this lifetime to deserve this.  I am sad, angry, and feel a great sense of loss.  I also feel that I need to be strong for Andrew though because this is just as much his loss as it is mine.  I pray to have the strength to get us both through this.