So, Andrew and I finally decided to get our new puppy. We get to pick him up in April. His name is Xander. He is adorable. I find myself looking at pictures of him and the videos that we took at least twice a day because I am so excited. But, then I look at Izzy. My baby. I worry about her with the new one. Will she be jealous? Will she start peeing on the floor? Will she start chewing stuff again? Will she be gentle? I know this is ridiculous for me to be thinking about all of this. I mean, they're just dogs, right? They don't have feelings like people. HA! I know that my Izzy has a personality. I know that she has feelings. I know that they get hurt. The thing that really bothers me is when people say that my dog can't be my baby. Do they know what it was like for me to miscarry? Do they know how it felt to have someone to take care of when I couldn't be a mom? Nope. The people that say those things have never felt the hurt that I did. I love my Izzy with all my heart. I feel that I am very tolerant of these people who say that my pet can't be my "kid", but enough is enough. I can't have children. The possibility of invetro, a surrogate, or adoption is financially out of the question. So, I have pets.
There is something to be said about woman's intuition. Women have the yearning and the pre knowledge of how to care for others. When those feelings aren't fulfilled, the woman feels inadequate. Or, at least, I have felt inadequate. I love how good Kelli's kids are with Izzy. Lisa's kids are almost just as good. She loves her cousins. Austyn, especially.
I want children. I yearn to be a mother. I have the knowledge to do it. ***not all of it though*** But, the fact remains that I can't. So, before someone thinks that it is ridiculous that I feel my dogs are my babies, remember how they fill a void that cannot be filled another way.
***I will post pictures of Xander when we bring him home. Hopefully of him and Izzy.***
I'm excited to see him!
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