I haven't posted anything since before Christmas. Holy Cow! Some things have changed, some have not, and some have changed and then went back to normal. Andrew is still at his job, thank goodness. This is in spite of rumors that lay offs were going to happen. My job has changed. They cut my hours so much at my old position. So much that we lost our benefits. Crazy. Anyway, one day at the Redwood clinic, I was talking to another one of the receptionists and one of the techs overheard me. She pulled me aside and said that there was an opening at the Main Moran. Something that would provide me with full time work, benefits, and a raise in salary since it was considered a promotion. I thought and thought and talked and talked. After much consideration, I put my application in and was basically given the job with an interview as a formality. YAY! I was super excited. I started the new job the fist week of March. Andrew and I decided that we needed to start leaving the dogs out because they would be having too much kennel time if we did that during the day while we were both at work. This did not go well. At first, they did ok. We thought that was great. But then, they did the unthinkable. They ate one of our movies. Ironically, it was Lady and the Tramp. We thought it was mainly Xander, so we started to kennel him. But, Izzy started acted out at that point. After six weeks of drama with them and many replacement items around our house, we decided that it was time to take them to the shelter to see if they could find better homes. This lasted all of three days. We dropped them off on a Friday evening and after many many many tears and sleepless nights and being so sad that we made ourselves sick, we decided to try and get them back. Andrew said that our house felt different and that it didn't feel like our home anymore because they were gone. We went and picked them up Monday evening. So happy to have our babies back home, we have cleared the living room out of furniture and it is the dogs area. We are hoping to be able to build into the crawl space, which we can stand in, to make a room for them. It is cement down there and would be a perfect place because it is cool in the summertime. We hope to at least get a quote to know how much it would cost to do that. We'll see.
Now on to the more spiritual aspect of our lives. I am no longer playing the piano in primary because I was burnt out. But, more than that, I am angry. I am angry at the way the church took care of my ex husband and let him get sealed in the temple after he did what he did. I am really having a hard time overcoming that. I don't know if there is any type of healing that can come from that. Andrew and I would like to be sealed, but neither of us goes to church anymore and I don't know when we will go back. When we do reach that point, YES I said "when", I don't know if I will be ready to sit in that room with everyone that will be there. There are so many hard feelings between Kelli and I that I don't think we could sit in the same room and not have animosity. I would not want there to be animosity on such a special day. So, we have stopped trying. I just don't have enough faith for both of us, and that is what I would need.
After I posted my letters to Shellie and Kelli, I returned all the stuff that they had ever given to me. I removed all the pictures. I erased the memory of a friendship that I was told was "toxic". For ten years I remained in a "toxic" friendship that I had no idea was "toxic". I was repeatedly told that I was judgmental and hard to be around and not worth any one's time. No more. I finished it. I don't want to care anymore.
So, that is a full update on us. New jobs=awesome. Dogs=getting better. Church=constant work in progress. Family=could be better, but probably won't be. But, that is what happens when two people are super stubborn.
Love to everyone!!!
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